Dreaming of a paradise

drunkblogging:

if u dont grab my ass when we’re making out wtf are u doing 

esexist:

what if you were holding a puppy and being like “aw whos the cutest wittle puppy in the whole wide world?” it responded in a grown mans voice just like “i am the cutest puppy in the whole wide world”

salmiakkivodka:

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

barkingmad98:

lolyoureabitch:

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE LIFE CHOICES I STILL COUNT USING MY FINGERS

AND I SING THE WHOLE ALPHABET TO SEE WHAT LETTER COMES NEXT

I STILL HOLD UP BOTH HANDS AND MAKE AN L SHAPE TO REMIND MYSELF OF LEFT AND RIGHT

I STILL HAVE TO THINK OF AN ALLIGATOR EATING THE BIGGER NUMBER TO USE THE < AND > SYMBOLS.

I STILL RUN CLUMSILY UP THE STAIRS ON MY HANDS AND FEET LIKE A FREAKIN LEEMUR CHEETAH HYBRID

babyiaan:

Someone should pull a prank on Justin Bieber where he goes somewhere crowded and they hire a bunch of teenage girls to pretend they don’t know who he is and just see how pissed off he gets

phaserburn:

My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”